• Luther Monument - We will discuss Protestantism, the Protestant Reformation, and the division of Germany.
• St. Mary’s Church - Built in 1270, it is the second oldest structure in Berlin. We will explore the Dance of Death and the meaning behind the paintings.
• Rotes Rathaus - We will cover its construction, functions, and the creativity of Germans in naming things.
• Franziskaner Klosterkirche - Dating back to 1250, it is the oldest preserved structure. We will talk about the Berlin High School at the Gray Monastery (1574), Karl Friedrich Schinkel, Friedrich Ludwig Jahn, and Otto von Bismarck.
• Palais Podewil - Erected by Berlin aristocrats in 1704, it was named after its most famous resident, Heinrich Graf von Podewils, who lived there in 1732. He was the State Minister for Foreign Affairs in the Cabinet of the Soldier King and a minister under Frederick the Great.
• Parochialkirche - Built between 1695-1705, it is the oldest Reformed Church in Berlin. It has the oldest well-preserved cemetery (1706). The roof was destroyed by an incendiary bomb, and the DDR rebuilt it, but it was never used as a church until after unification and renovations.
• Memorial of the Berlin Wall - Construction began in 1250 and it was used and improved until the 17th century.
• Maerkisches Museum - We will discuss the origins of this island, the original center of Berlin, and its changes over the centuries.
• Köllnischer Park - We will explore the bear cage and other bizarre German zoos, including the size of the lion’s genitalia fighting Hercules at the entrance.
• Historischer Hafen Berlin - We will discuss the Hanseatic League and how Berlin’s geographical location allowed it to be a member, though not an important one. Commerce improved when the Great Elector started creating canals connecting the main rivers of the state, enhancing Berlin’s status.
• Humboldt Forum - We will tour the old (yet new) palace and discuss the significant funds used for its beautiful cosmetic work.
• Museum Knoblauchhaus - Ephraim, the court jeweler of Friedrich the Great in the 1700s, built his house here. He even had a silver refinery in the backyard. We will cover two important subjects: Friedrich the Great and the history of Berlin Jews.
• St. Nicholas Church (Nikolaikirche) - This is where we will conclude our “old” addition of the Rude Bastard tour, covering the period from the 1200s to the 1800s.

• Well rounded view of the local attractions
• Insider tips - Entertainment, cuisine, free museums & night life
• Local Guide

• Public Transport ticket
• Restroom break

The same old famous, or infamous rude bastards tour – your humorous guides who enjoy dirty jokes, rude language, and a bit of fun while conducting this historic tour. But now we are bringing something unique to the city, to the old, historic, medieval city of Berlin.

Many visitors that come to Berlin generally focus on the 20th century, forgetting or simply not realising the other half of this history rich city. We take a few steps back and start when Berlin was called the “swap land” and end just before the start of the 20th century, the rudest way of course.

For a full refund, cancel at least 24 hours before the scheduled departure time.